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Lesson: Building a Dream Marriage


Before you married, did you have a misconception about marriage that later became clear?


Thank You, Father, for loving us and teaching us to grow in love.

Key Scripture

Ephesians 5:22–24 Message: “Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.”

The Big Idea

We can be set in our ways as individuals. To successfully merge our lives in marriage, we must be willing to change. We will succeed in our marriage if we adopt God’s ways and principles; then we will enjoy our spouse and feel fulfilled. Both men and women have strengths and weaknesses that complete and complement each other. Society has tried to break down all of these differences, yet husbands and wives need to grow and develop each other. Let’s look at areas we can improve to build a dream marriage.


How do you feel about society’s attempts to make the genders identical?

A Woman’s Greatest Need

A woman’s greatest need is security; her operating system is based on it. When a husband robs his wife of security, she struggles to process it. When a man sacrifices for his wife and admires her, she feels secure. When bills are paid and pantries are full of food, women feel secure. Open communication is something they draw strength from and often an area in which they must help their husbands grow. When a husband leads his family, his wife feels secure.


As a man, do you recognize a woman’s need for security, with all of its nuances? As a woman, are you aware of your need to feel secure? Share with the group.

A Man’s Greatest Need

A man’s operating system is based on honor. When he is disrespected, he cannot process it. If a woman talks down to her husband, it does not produce good results. He craves her admiration and needs her moral support. The old saying that behind every great man is a great woman is true in this regard. Pastor Jonathan encourages wives to say “wow” instead of “how.” Wives, allow your husband to dream, and even fail, without taking away his honor. Don’t disrespect him with your tone. Honor him to help him become the man you want him to be.


How does a man respond when he is respected?


When husbands and wives understand each other’s needs, they can begin to improve their responses and meet each other’s needs.

Action Point

Husbands, increase your wife’s security this week. Avoid behavior that weakens her security. Fully communicate. Ladies, focus this week on giving honor to your husband and supporting his leadership.

For You, the Leader

  1. Instruct group members to do the following:
    • Pray for and touch base with another member before next week.
    • Invite someone to the group next week and/or to attend a church service with you.
    • Encourage someone this week.
  2. Remind the group about outreach. Find out which outreach will be taking place in the zip code closest to your group and participate. One of the greatest joys of life in Christ is serving others!
  3. What is the next step for each member of your group? Whether it is water baptism, Cultivate, or A-Team/B-Group leadership, encourage them in it. Also encourage all members to read their Bible and pray daily.
  4. Close in prayer, asking for any specific prayer requests.
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” The first 15 minutes of your day will determine the rest of your day”
—-Joel Stockstill "Healthy Rhythms Part 2"