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Lesson: Being Single


What is the worst pickup line you have ever heard? Have you ever used it?


Lord, thank You for directing this very important area of our lives.

Key Scripture

1 Corinthians 6:17–20 (MSG): “Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never ‘become one.’ There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for ‘becoming one’ with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”

The Big Idea

Here is some good advice for single people: “Run as fast as you can towards God, and if someone keeps up, introduce yourself.” The Bible is obviously the best guide for doing anything and evaluating everything. Let’s consider God’s Word instead of this present world when we define what marriage is intended to be.

Just because the words “eharmony” and “Christian Mingle” are not in the Bible, that doesn’t mean the Bible does not address singleness. God has much to say about being single. It is a season of life that all people go through. When we move from singleness towards marriage, however, we need wisdom as we contemplate the second most important decision of our lives. Wisdom is knowing God’s opinion and knowing the next step forward.

The people in the early church were no different from people today. Like us, they had questions on marriage and the single life. The Bible provides answers to those questions in 1 Corinthians 7. Let’s take a look at what God says to single people.


Were you thankful for the single season in your life? Did God use it to prepare you for your next season? Share with the group.

Sex has a context. First Corinthians 7:1–2 (MSG) says, “Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder.”

Lust is often compared to fire. Solomon made this comparison in the Old Testament, and in the New Testament the apostle Paul encouraged men to get married if they were burning with lust. The fire comparison really is an apt description. Fire is incredibly powerful—amazing when controlled, but destructive when not controlled.

Context of fire Fire in a fireplace = awesome! Fire in your kitchen = big problems!


Have you ever had an unbiblical view of sex? Share with the group.

The context for sex is marriage. God designed sex to be expressed in the context of the covenant of marriage. You can choose to express yourself outside of those parameters and covenant, but you cannot avoid the outcome and the consequences.

Sexual immorality is having sex with someone you are not married to. Being engaged does not give you permission to engage in sex. If you are involved in sexual immorality of any kind, you are out of God’s will and practicing sin. Being in love does not change God’s Word—sex is reserved for marriage.


What are some of the unintended outcomes when premarital sex becomes the context?

It has been said that dating with no intent to marry is like going to the grocery store with no money. You either leave unhappy or take something that isn’t yours.


As believers, we realize that it is better to do things God’s way. Are you willing to hold up your relationship to the light of God’s Word? How can you do that?


Marriage is a covenant. In a Bible covenant, something always dies. What dies when you get married? Singleness. You cannot think like a single and be married at the same time. If you are single and in love, your next step is not sex, but rather the covenant of marriage.

Action Point

Allow God’s Word to better refine your single attitude and behavior. Use this season in your life to prepare you to be the person God wants you to be so you can eventually be the best spouse you can be.

XO Conference is February 8–9. Registration is only $15.

  1. Remind the group members of the following:
    • Pray for and touch base with another member before next week.
    • Invite someone to the group next week and/or to attend a church service with you.
    • Encourage someone this week.
  2. Remind the group about outreach. Find out which outreach will be taking place in the zip code closest to your group and participate. One of the greatest joys of life in Christ is serving others!
  3. What is the next step for each member of your group? Whether it is water baptism, Cultivate, or A-Team/B-Group leadership, encourage them in it. Also encourage all members to read their Bible and pray daily.
  4. Close in prayer, asking for any specific prayer requests.
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“Healthy emotions require consistent devotions”
—-Jonathan Stockstill "Healthy Rhythms Part 1"